Kohli prepares for English conditions, learns foulest of English words

While the rest of Indian Cricket Team was sweating it out in the nets, two players – Virat Kohli and Murali Vijay were found preparing themselves off the field.

Kohli was seen sitting comfortably on a chair, holding a book in his able hands. The book read “Master Verbal Abuse in 5 Days” on its cover page.

When asked how difficult it would be acclimatize to English conditions, the dashing batsman said, “Conditions here are different compared to what they were back home. And we need to prepare accordingly. That’s precisely why I am learning new invectives. No one will understand a B**C** or an M**C** here, we’ll have to learn new ones in English language to make an impact in these conditions. We are preparing well for the contest.”

 “Experience also helps. When we toured Australia, I did not prepare too well and hence had to use my body parts (middle finger to be precise) and gestures. This time I will let mouth do the talking.” added Kohli, who seems to be learning from his experiences.

Kohli used his middle finger as a temporary bookmark while he was interviewed.

Murali Vijay was reportedly heard chanting “Thank You God” in a nearby Church. He was as much shocked in disbelief on his inclusion in the side as every other Cricket fan back home.

Note: I published this at "My Faking News" too.